You are definitely not alone. So much is out of our control right now. The other day, I started a Netflix binge to attempt to zone out from what is going on with the world. Got my popcorn, my wine, set up the kids with arts and crafts, husband was out the back finishing a building project that has been half done for 2 years.
Two episodes into my binge I looked up… the house looked like a bomb had exploded.
The kids decided to bring arts and crafts into my dining room, paint was on the walls and on my new rug. My husband was obviously oblivious to the mud on his workboots when he decided to use the loo at the other end of the house – there goes my zone out time!
I don’t even think it was over the mess exactly. The mess just tipped me over the edge. It was the feeling of losing control. I like routine, I like structure and I like order. It was that very moment when i realised that I can’t have all of these things right now. I am one of those people that NEED to make my bed every morning. I can’t go to bed with dishes still in the sink. And I CAN NOT leave the house while it is still a mess – but my problem is that we are not leaving the house these days. So everything is crumbling down around me.
My emotions got the better of me. I was too wild to even scream. I took in the mess around me, turned off my Netflix series, marched into my bedroom out of view from everyone, and cried. and cried. and cried.
04 August 2023
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